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So you’ve decided to move to a new city. Possibly even a new country. Maybe you’re moving for college, studying abroad, or relocating for work. Whatever the reason may be, the thought of moving somewhere new brings up so many emotions on varying levels in different individuals. Exhilaration, thrill, and excitement are among the positive, but you may be feeling scared, lost, anxious, or alone.
I’ve moved to a new city three times (four if you count when I was a baby 😆). Each time I moved, before, during, and after the move, I was met with all the emotions I mentioned earlier. I was excited to be able to start fresh and grow. I was curious and thrilled to learn the ins and outs of a new culture. I was excited to gain more independence. But at the same time, I was terrified of being alone. It’s hard to make friends as an adult and it’s not healthy to be alone. I was lost as to what I would do with this experience and how things would work in the new location.
Social media and keeping in touch with long-distance friends just isn’t going to cut it. We can only keep up with so many people, and having too many friends to keep up with back home takes us away from the present. I’m not saying, God forbid, you cut off all your old friends and family, rather that it’s important to build your social circle in your new city as well.
Most of my friends right now (and I) are living in a new location, and when we were just starting out, we were all asking each other the same question:
How Do I Make Friends in a New City?
Here are some tried-and-true methods that my friends and I have used (that were successful). I really hope they give you some inspiration and help you out if you’re in the same position we were in!
Go on a Program
This is the easiest way to make friends by far, and that’s why I added it first to the list. If you go to a new city (or new country) on a program, most chances are that a majority of people on the program are alone as well. This means that they all want and are actively looking to make friends. I can vouch for this, as I’ve been on two programs abroad, and know many other people who also did programs abroad.
Before I moved, I initially went on a program which had 10 girls on it. We all came alone (except me and my sister) and everyone was really eager to make friends. I now still keep in touch and am good friends with half the program, and the other girls can vouch the same, for the most part, that they created really meaningful friendships through it. When you’re in a new unfamiliar place on a program, your program tends to act as your family because everyone is on the same boat (everyone’s alone).
Some other plusses of being on a program are:
- Everyone wants to make friends
- There will be group-building activities and bonding sessions
- You may live with people on your program
- You have a support system from the get-go of the people on your program
Whether you are before your move or after there are countless programs you can choose from. It’s never too late to decide you want to do a program or group tour.
Join a Local Gym
If the gym is not for you, keep reading. If it is, this is how one of my friends in the states made new friends. She’s really passionate about working out and was new in her area and didn’t know anybody. When she joined the gym, she was a bit shy at first, but when she opened up she made a couple good friends who share the same hobby as her. Even better she sees them every week at the gym so they are constantly in touch.
Find a Class
If the gym is not your cup of tea (it’s not mine), joining a class could be another great way to meet friends who have the same hobbies as you. The best part of this is that the possibilities are endless. If you like to dance, take a dance class. If you’re into cooking, try your hand at a cooking class (maybe in the local cuisine). One of my friends loves fashion so she takes a fashion design class and she met new friends there. You can also do a class in something that will help you in the future like something related to your field of study / your career or a class in the local language.
Here are some ideas to get you to start thinking:
- Dancing
- Cooking
- Fashion design
- Painting
- Coding bootcamp
- Language
- Surfing
- Jewelry-making
- Yoga / Pilates
- College courses
Take a Language Class
If you moved to a place where you don’t speak the native language, this is a perfect solution. By taking a language class, you’ll meet lots of expats who are in the same position as you are. All of them are taking the language class because they are foreigners who don’t speak it! You’ll be able to make friends who share similar experiences to you and are easier to relate to, and possibly even meet people who are from the same place as you are. Since all of these people presumably have moved (at least temporarily) to the same city as you, you’re all in the same boat. It’ll be easy to help and support one another and you’ll have an easier time making friends because everyone in the class is probably looking for some.
Even if you didn’t move to a foreign-speaking country, taking a language class is a great way of making friends. Besides the fact that you’ll be seeing the same group of people on a regular bases, since you’re learning to speak, you’ll have to do conversational exercises with your peers which means you’ll have to get to know them a bit whether you like it or not. In college I took six language courses and they were the most fun classes I had mainly due to the small group setting and the social aspect.
Join a Club or a Sports Team
As someone who is not into sports at all, the fact that local sports teams and groups even existed surprised me. This is another great way to combine your hobby with making friends and find people who share the same interests as you. One of my friends lived abroad for a couple months and made a bunch of new friends from joining a local basketball team. She loved it.
Here are some ideas to get your gears turning:
- Climbing club
- Basketball team
- Volleyball team
- Soccer team
- Ping pong club
- Birdwatching club
- Foraging club
- Join a band
- Book club
- Local acapella group or choir
- Theater group
Start a Job
Make sure that the job you find isn’t remote so you can meet new coworkers. One of my friends worked as a real estate agent when she moved. This was really tough for her because she didn’t really have any coworkers– she was just running around all day showing apartments and houses to different people. Since she wanted to meet new people, she started working as a waitress in a local restaurant.
Here are some places:
- Cafe
- Bar
- Restaurant
- Any office job
- Lifeguard
- Clothing store
Volunteer Locally
My sister took this path when she was in a new city. She decided to volunteer on a farm just outside the city that helped at-risk youth. Farming may not be a fit for everyone, but there are so many other things that you can do with this like:
- Soup kitchen
- WOOFing
- Schools
- Hospitals
- Nursing homes
Go to Hostel-Hosted Events
Hostels are a great way to meet other foreigners like you! If you didn’t start out by staying at a hostel or aren’t currently living in a hostel, you can always check out local hostels and see if they are hosting any events. Try checking their social media channels or calling them and see if they are doing anything that interests you.
Take to Social Media
Facebook groups are a great way to connect with many people who live near you and get advice as a new person in the neighborhood. Try to look for Facebook groups of expats like “Americans in Berlin” or “Argentinos en Madrid” or Facebook groups with your neighborhood name, or city and activity you like. The only thing is, joining the group alone isn’t enough. You need to ask for advice, maybe even post a little about yourself and ask if anyone can show you around the neighborhood since you’re new.
Another way to use social media to make new friends is to look for events in the city you’re in. Events are usually posted by different bars, restaurants, etc. to gain traction. Check out local events in the new city you’re in and go! Don’t worry about going alone, you can meet new people there if you dare to try.
Note: Make sure to use social media safely. Some safety precautions you can take are: don’t give out your personal information to strangers. Make sure to video call a person you may meet in person before you meet them. Meet people in public places and let someone you can trust know you are seeing someone new.
Reach Out to Your Neighbors
Reaching out to your neighbors is another great way of meeting people. You never know, there may be neighbors that you really connect with. And the best part? They live right next door! If you want to take this route, you can knock on neighbors doors and introduce yourself, leave some sweets (like Monica did in Friends), or if there is an apartment group chat, introduce yourself there.
Talk To People
All the methods to make friends in a new city that I mentioned above will only work if you talk to people. When moving somewhere new, one of the biggest lessons learnt is social skills and not being shy. You need to take chances. Even if you’re worried you’ll embarrass yourself (don’t worry, you won’t– and if you will, you’ll have a funny story for later).
Be Proactive!
In adult life, most people tend to have their established group of friends and family connections already. This means that most people are not looking to make new friends. This is why when you’re new, it’s important to be proactive. If you meet someone cool with a good vibe that you want to be friends with, don’t wait for them to invite you to lunch. Invite yourself! If you’re a shy person (like me 😆), this is the perfect opportunity to push your boundaries and learn some people skills. Offer to do something that you enjoy (and they enjoy) together. Or go grab a coffee. This will let you get to know each other more, and will help your friendship blossom.
Stay Positive 🙂
It may take time to find people that you vibe with. That’s ok– every person is different. Rest assured, your new friends are out there waiting for you. Stay positive!
Share your advice on making friends in a new city down below!
And until next time,
Take a shans!
